No one can help me now. All by myself I need to get around this. Its not easy for me to explain why I’m feeling like this. I’ve never been able to express how I feel easily. All I know is that I’m not happy, sadness has overcome me. I need something good to rely on, something for me.

I’ve come to realize that I cant live this way. It’s not just the situation that I come home to every night. It’s that nothing feels right. By now I should have already started my life, But I’m just standing still. I wish I could start over again and go back to when the board was clean. I can’t make everything disappear.

Change is what I need, I need to turn my life upside down, but this time to help me. I need to do things for myself rather than other people for once. I feel like I don’t know myself anymore and I’m just pretending to be. But where do I start to make everything happy again??? There is so much that I’m unhappy with and it feels like it will be forever to make right.

I wish I could just sit and tell you everything. But its not easy for me. I’m glad that you’re here, and I have you. You’re the one thing that im happy about. But I’m scared that will all change. I always think about all the times we’ve been there for each other. And somehow I know that is one thing that will never change. You’re the only one I’ll be with until the end, when I come undone you bring my back again. No matter what happens, my feelings for you will still be strong. I love you!

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